Once I close up, I will do so permanently.
i was seeking for shelter from the thunderstorm, i was given an umbrella.
At least it's better than to be given a cap.
Many times the request for shelter is turned down for an umbrella instead.
Sooner or later one may not need shelter anymore and will live on, only occasionally using the umbrella. Other times by himself.

Chances for all that was needed to play that role.
Chances intentionally made and awaited for.
Chances ignored.

you open a door for others, but they rather have it closed and meet you through the grilled windows.

"I cannot give you what you seek". Famous quote, communicated through deeds.

I expect too much, I demand too much.
I ruin too much.
I lose too much.

A mother hushes her baby and rocks her baby to sleep when she cries.
My mind is shattering, a storm going on. Where will the peace come from?
How will calmness exist?

Just as I am?
unacceptable.
It's the others that is expected of.

Help: something you give others but expecting any back is a mere disappointment.
Yes you should ask but it's so obvious to others but they don't do anything. If you ask, it spoils the whole thing. Do you tell the teacher you need to go for recess when it's so obvious recess is already going on?
Do the weather forecast people advise people to stay indoors when a hailstorm currently going on has killed many people?
They should do it by themselves, they should do it beforehand.

Just a mess.

Another heart calls

Everything that matters.

Loath these times that shatters everything I am.

If you don't say, they wouldn't get it done.

Threaded upon, all over.
If it were them, they would've given up a long time ago.
If it were them, they would hate you.

There's no space, no chance.
How can a sock fit even if the sock is fitting but has zero elasticity?

When the scenario has come to take place, the incident is occurring, what's the use of the emergency number when they stand firm their ground claiming they have no duty?
And they only do so after you tell them to? or when you have caused a case of conflict between both parties? When the fire is over by itself what's the use of the fire brigade if they only come after being convinced over and over regarding what they ought to do?

i  cant explain but it feels like a distance building up even thoughh the gap is closing.
maybe it's just me and the fact that some strong things have a weakpoint or weak period.

food for thought: your words are proven in your actions, and your natural responses and reactions to situations show what and how much certain things mean to you. value
 for something is shown in your words and deeds.

The best people in the world are those who see perfection in imperfection. Not being nonchalant but being appreciative for everything they have, without making comparisons, in word and in deed.

Some times, when given the choice, we pick something suits our wants more than our needs. Some times we choose to see what we want to imagine and believe, so much so that we rather enjoy it than to face reality. What if it is the reality that requies a course of action that by not doing so, it could lead to our detriment? We have eyes to see, yet we chose rather to imagine, while there are many others out there blinded, but desperately trying to see the real world instead of trying to imagine it. Who are we to define in accord of our preference the things that have been defined through laws and foundational concepts of reality? Who are we to define the things that define us? A source of something cannot be sourced by that very same thing. You are not made by what you have made. The illogical issues that men has created, if put into simpler context is this: it is not the laws of science that mankind abides in, it is in mankind the law of sciences abide.

Credibility has fallen. If accounts of the memory bank are what you perceive them to be, but not of reality, What is real and not real? Back to silence. So that the focus is not lost for what is right round the corner, and any trigger or ignition to a chain of long unnecessary, nail biting thoughts can be avoided.

How do you help when you do not know how?
Why do you not know when information is ample at places you know they would be lying about?
When do you ever try passing by those places?
What if you help when you do not properly know how?
Who do you blame when you try to help but things gets worse?

Most people do not think about these matters, but only try to help while wearing their own shoes only.
People try to unite and stick together, but they never try wearing each others' shoes. At least one of them won't.
No matter how close people get, the decision on the shoes will result in either keeping people apart or bringing people closer.

Have you tried anybody else's shoes?

I have. I try them on all the time.
so much of the time that I can't tell if my shoes have been tried on and placed back the same exact spot, or they have been left untouched.
Will you ever try mine properly?

It was the reason for you, don't let this sole reason be of no use; the choice based on one reasoning, and that reasoning is feared to be non-existent. 

The fact is this: Whatever you say, if your actions shows otherwise, tell me how am I supposed to trust you?
If this is what you say, then why these actions?
Actions speak louder than words.
Remember.

We all wish people would wear and walk in our shoes.
And if they realized what's wrong with the shoe, help us fix it.
But who helps us?
Most will just criticize our shoes, some wouldn't even wear our shoes at all.

It's been a day, I can't go on for long like this.

I just wish for an ear.

Just one.

Fear blanks the mind.

The hand that builds, can also destroy.

There has always been the existence of esteem problems ever since a long time ago.

Words from nearer people affect you more.

To me, words that relate to self esteem tears me apart, destroys me completely.

Insignificant

-It can go on without the other so easily.

Sometimes one side fears it is outweighing the other; the side making up most of it.

It feels alone.

It feels void.

I'm feeling like my time is up again,

to burst and fall into pieces.

To start all over again.

Maybe it's just me.

So I'll deal with this alone.

I've been expecting and depending too much on everything and everyone.

So now it's time to just fix myself.

Maybe it's my turn to get what I deserve for all the things I've done.

Why do I feel like I'm just like everybody else?

If there's something that makes me different,

show me. remind me. assure me.

Don't leave me feeling this way.

When every thought needs to be spilled out,

When was the last time you checked up?

I just need some time alone. away from everyone.

As time passes by, we start noticing everyone is not as near as we thought they were. Who is?

Special.

Am I? or just a seconder?

I still am really confused of where I really stand.

If the glass is cracked, you can never fix it to how it was before.

When there's not much of response after everything,

I'm left fearing the worst.

Just me, and myself.

I have not blogged for a long time.

It seems there's been no proper time to blog, or any time i'd want to blog.

Fallen inwards.

My mistake, it is?

Funny how our minds can play games with us.

Mine plays a long and serious one.