A tight slap across the face

In life, we always come to a point we have to make decisions.

At that very crossroad we think carefully before making a decision, hoping to make the right one.

And how do we know if it was the right choice? it will be based on our current selves. 

I made several decisions in life that involved others.

After all these years I used to think that I made the right choices based on what I know and how I interpret the scenarios. 

After some years of experience and going through so much, I decided to look back at my past which were in black and white.

Like a tight slap across my face, I've realised I have been a fool and an inconsiderate person.

A self-centred, spoilt and temperamental brat.

I have trampled on many while in the course of deciding what I want.

Always wanting something else.

Always wanting something new.

I've hurt many people.

I've lost some friends, or at least am no longer close to them.

My past is full of what ifs and should haves. 

But the only way is forward.

I have to start from here even if there's nothing much.

I apologise to you for what I've been.

I apologise for what I've done.

Apologies will never undo what has been done, but do know that I will forever carry this burden in my heart. 

This guilt for all the things I've done to the people around me.