Time Inside Out.

2 years ago.
It all seemed fine. It was really fine.
It was the best start of the new year.
You left. I moved on. I tried to. Struggled each day, hoping all the time that I might eventually get over you;
Months went on, I injured my wrist.
That marked the end of any wrist related sports for me;
Time passed, I sprained my cervical vertebrae somehow;
The end of the year came, you left us, Ben;
Last year, you left.
This home became so silent, it was like entering an empty house.
You changed. Everything changed;
I knew I was capable enough, but I lost the 2 post I tried so hard to get.
I worked so hard since the start of probation, since my very first interview;
I lived a year of confusion, thinking that everything was perfectly fine.
I was blinded by my own ignorance;
you came along. We spent all the time we could together.
But I tore us apart. Confused.
I still wished you'd still talk to me;
Time was sacrificed just hoping that I'd be able to lead this two clubs throughout the year.
You ruined it all by abolishing them two.
I was left with nothing;
Everything seemed to get better, until you tore everything apart.
Under this roof, nothing will ever be the same again.
You made this one month I have left into a day;
Two years. two long years.
Seemed like an ascend, until the great fall came.
If you know who you are, I'm glad you know.

Dear Ben,
It's been almost two years now.
We've been through so many things in our lives together.
Sunday school, UPSR, PMR, english writing competitions.
But it had to end there. 'Cause you were called back early.
It's been two very long years.
It seemed like I was alone all the time.
You were the only one in our clique that was the same age as me.
It has been awfully quiet being the only person walking down this path.
SPM is coming up really soon. I don't think I might make it through.
I always wished I didn't have to do things alone.
Even if it were my choice or not, I'd have to do everything alone.
I wish things could change,I pray each day that all these didn't have to go on.
I wished that I wasn't alone. That there was someone who has some things in common with me.
Hope to see you soon.
The wait won't be long.

I love the gloomy weather, with all the strong winds, the cool sensation it brings.
But I don't like it when it starts raining inside instead.
When everything inside turns dark and gloomy.
When there's no sunshine, no warmth, no comfort, no shelter.
I can't see through this weather.
I can't see if there's anymore hope left.
I can't see anything. Anything at all.